This is my third week in my new account in S-2. We’re starting from scratch, literally, that we’re training alongside trainers, quality people and even our account manager. Then again, I have this certain luck with accounts that I always get signed up to the ones that are just starting. On the other hand, I have sour luck when it comes to immediate supervisors that I've blogged about it often. It’s a long story. But 2008 is more than just the global financial crisis for me. It was the most terrible year of my life so far. I’m wishing not to have that kind of year again ever.
Everything is still okay for the moment. It’s not like my previous account where I have experienced all of the possible bad impressions I could in just one sitting. I’m in a new site with a different set of people that it’s almost like I transferred to a different company.
I’m giving this shit the benefit of doubt. I’m crossing my fingers that this account will not turn out to be shit hole that was my first account in S-2.
By the way, everyone in S-2 received an email “Employee Satisfaction Survey.” There was a question there that really made me laugh. “Are you proud of your account?” It was still referring to my previous account since I’ve just recently transferred (I made sure, don’t worry).
I answered, “That’s a loaded question. If there are two words to describe [the account name], it’ll be MASS HYSTERIA.”
By the time this blog entry has been posted, it’ll be just a few days away before my 25th birthday. Bianca Consunji’s blog captured what I truly feel with her tagline: Too young to be old, too old to be young.
I still feel like an underachiever. I’m like a struggling Hollywood actor still making a living out of being a food server waiting for his big break, like an American Idol finalist who still haven’t got signed up by a major record company while his batch-mates are reaping their millions of dollars with their number one hits.
I have no plans of telling my office colleagues it’s my birthday. If someone finds out, I won’t be able to treat them to anything even if they nag me to death. So far, in my one and a half years here in S-2, only a few really knows me. Someone told me that I have my own little world. Others say I’m mysterious. And it’s a good thing sometimes that I’m not interesting enough for someone to exert effort to know me.
There was only one in S-2 who got to see my blog and talk to me about it because he googled my name. He didn’t do it on purpose by the way. He was just bored and was randomly googling the names of people he knows. He was surprised when he saw my blog and my website. “Marunong ka pa lang magsulat,” he said. (You actually know how to write.) Good thing he had kept my “secret” until he resigned from S-2. He’s now working in Singapore.
Then again, this blog isn’t exactly a secret so as my side project either. But it’s very unlikely I’ll talk to you about it in the office. Why? Because I don’t need additional pressure from other people I meet on a daily basis asking me how my side project is doing. I’ve been pressuring myself too much already. It’s the reason I didn’t even join the “Blogger’s Club” at work because I know I’ve said a lot of bad things about my work, my account and some of the people I’ve met here in S-2.
Partial anonymity has its advantages. It’s reason I’ve closed my friendster account and haven’t signed up to Facebook yet. But then again, once I’m finished with my side project, I’ll have to introduce myself to the “world.” And with that I might lessen my personal comments about work and some people here in my blog. I don’t know. My entries nowadays have been tamed compare to how it was back when I was starting to blog.
I took everyone by surprise, especially the “macho men" who thought they knew me, during a teambuilding in January this year when they found out I like rock bands. They thought I only know Lady Gaga’s songs. What they don’t know is that I only listen to Mariah and Beyonce (I can’t stand Regine Velasquez, sorry) only to get along and relate with the people I hang around with. It’s their genre. “Kay Lady Gaga lang kami talaga nagiging in-tune.” (We only get in tune really with Lady Gaga.) At home I play Audioslave and CDs of the bands listed in my Rockstar list daily. I can’t really blame them though, even the two closest friends I have in S-2 right now don’t even know I have a blog. I haven’t introduced it to them yet. Maybe when I’m done with my first side project.
I guess I’ve created a wall too high that some people I interface with everyday have no idea what’s in my head. You, my very few blog readers, know a facet of me but not everything. I guess having a poker face has its advantages as well.