Friday, March 07, 2014


And so the news I've been waiting for since November last year was a no go. I found out about it on the first week of February. Oh well. Move on.

I just can't afford to be an inggitera. Yun lang. It'll only make me feel bad.

Then again, the small biyaya we all had this end of Feb made it all better. Bahala na!

Friday, January 24, 2014

XII - Chain

Chain's mother was away for the night and would be back by tomorrow afternoon. He was excited for Andre to come. He'd visited Andre's place many times but it'd only be the second time for Andre to visit his place.

There was a drizzle that Thursday afternoon. Chain closed all the windows and shut all the curtains to make sure no one from outside could see what they were going to do. After he cleaned the house and cooked Andre's favorite meal -- corned beef with diced potatoes and fried rice -- he quickly showered and surfed the basic cable channels on TV waiting for him to text.

Chain's phone buzzed and the awaited text from Andre came. He was about to park his car in front of their house.

I shouldn't get too excited, Chain thought. I'll wait for him to knock at the door.

Chain heard the door knock and hurriedly opened it. It was Andre in their school uniform, carrying a backpack.

"Come in," Chain said.

Andre stepped in and as soon as Chain closed the door, Andre dropped his bag on the ground and opened his arms.

Chain hugged him. Andre said, "Will my car be okay outside?"

"Your car is parked in front of our house. The people from here will assume you're our guest. It'll be safe don't worry. They'll not want to mess with my mother."

Andre laughed as he tighten his hug on him.

"What's with the mustache and chin strap?" Chain said. 

"Everyone at the office's been calling me a boy," Andre said as he began rubbing his chin against his. "I'd like them to think of me as a man grown."

"I bet you do," Chain giggled and said as he kissed him on the lips. Andre just smiled. He kissed him again and this time Andre opened his mouth and kissed back.

"Does it look good on me?" Andre said as he kissed Chain's neck with each word.

"Yes," Chain said. He couldn't stop giggling like a little girl. "Anything looks good on you."

Andre kissed him on the lips and Chain opened his mouth. Andre dug his mouth with his tongue. Chain turned off his thoughts. Andre tighten his hold on him. It was a bit painful but he didn't mind.

It was Chain's first romantic kiss. He'd always thought it was going to be Romano, but Andre was a type of guy even girls would dream of. He couldn't be thankful enough.

Done kissing, Chain went to the refrigerator to get a couple of glasses of water. Andre sat on the sofa and finished off his glass. Chain took only a few sips.

"Did you miss me?" Andre said.

"Of course," Chain said standing in front of him. "I didn't see you for three weeks. Your text messages to me were often cryptic." He sat down beside him.

Andre stood in front of Chain and placed his knees in front of his, he said, "I prefer to talk to you in person." 

"I definitely missed this little guy," Chain said as he pulled down Andre's pant's zipper. He pulled out Andre's pinkish half-erected penis. "Well at least he's happy to see me," Chain continued he caressed its head.

"You're calling it little?"

"Sorry," Chain said as he took off Andre's belt and pulled down his pants and underwear.

Andre crossed his arms. Chain held Andre's penis with his left hand and with his right he started exploring his body under Andre's white undershirt and white polo barong. With a little effort from Chain, Andre's penis was fully erected with its tip poking his chin or neck whenever he moved. 

Chain stood up still holding Andre's erected penis. Andre put his arms behind him and began kissing Chain. Chain unbuttoned Andre's polo barong slowly and took it away. Andre took off his white undershirt. Chain sat down and held Andre's penis with right hand and rested his right cheek on it.

"Are you sure you want to put that in your mouth?" Andre said. "I've been in the office the whole day and I just finished gym."

"Well," Chain said as he massaged Andre's penis. "I forgot to take off your pants and shoes. You squirt a lot. I don't want to make a mess on your clothes."

Chain continued with the hand job on Andre as he took off his shoes, socks and pants. In a few minutes, Andre cummed and as he expected it all exploded in his right hand and face.

Chain had already prepared his hand towels. He pulled out one from his pocket and started wiping off Andre's semen from his face, hands and Andre's legs and penis as well.

Andre sat down beside him. Chain said, "Let me get another glass of water. I need a smoke."

Andre picked up the remote control and watched the TV in the nude.


Chain wasn't allowed to smoke in their house and his mother will definitely know if he ever did. He'd have to smoke outside. Chain closed the door carefully as he stepped out, to avoid anyone to peek in. He smoked by the doorway.

I was teased growing up being effeminate, Chain thought. How would my mother react if I ever tell her I want men? She might react the same when she found out I smoked. She just told me never to smoke inside the house. Ever since my failed attempt at courting a girl in high school, she never heard me once mention any sort of interest in women. She'd just shrug her shoulders. I'd guess.

Chain carefully closed the door on his way back in. Andre was still naked watching the TV. Chain filled a kettle of water and heated it at the gas stove. He sat down beside Andre. Andre placed his right arm across his shoulder.

"So you're a nudist now?" Chain said.

"No, it's just the two of us. You've seen me naked like a dozen times now."

"I'm heating some water for your bath. Unlike in your mansion, we don't have water heating showers. We still use pail and tabo."

Andre laughed.

Andre maybe a snob at times, Chain thought. But he's discreet with their wealth. He never flaunts it.

In a few minutes, the kettle whistled and Andre picked it up. Chain grabbed a fresh white hand towel and hung it on his right shoulder.

Chain's bathroom was spacious enough for two. Andre poured the hot water in a large pail filled with water. Chain went outside to grab a monobloc chair.

"Are you sure you don't want to join me?" Andre said. "I won't judge." He laughed.

"I know you know I have body issues," Chain said. "I don't even want to see myself naked."

Andre picked up the tabo and poured the water to himself. Chain grabbed a soap and lathered his chest and abdomen.

Chain soaped Andre's muscular arms slowly as he enjoyed feeling every square inch of his body. He said, "Where will you go this Christmas? Last time it was in Paris, right?"

"Lolo said we'll go to Hong Kong then Macau this year."

"So our next meeting will be in 2006?"

"Pretty much..."

Chain sat down in front of Andre and held his penis with his right hand, "Well, I have to grab this moment really hard now..." he did tighten his grip on Andre's penis. "And milk this moment for its every worth..." he began to hand job.

Andre's penis erected but he stopped Chain and said, "Let's save it for dessert."

Chain placed his right hand under Andre's balls and poked his butt hole with his index finger.

"Whoa," Andre said as he pulled Chain's hand away.

"Turn around please..."

Andre crossed his arms and turned around. Chain soaped his back and grabbed his butt with both his hands.

Andre laughed and said, "How's your internship going?"

"Boring, nothing much. Since we no longer have classes, meeting you has been the highlight of my week."

"You should try a sport or something."

"I read comic books and novels."

"I do that too, you know that."

Chain finished soaping up every square inch of Andre's body. Andre sat down on the monobloc as he poured water for him as he helped rinse away the soap.

They were at the door step of the bathroom. Chain rubbed the hand towel on Andre's arms first.

"I almost forgot to tell you," Andre said. "Before we leave for Hong Kong, my grandparents will celebrate their golden wedding anniversary. They'll re-do their vows and there's going to be a big party."

"So am I your date?" Chain said as he motioned Andre to turn around and rubbed the towel on his back.

"In a way, yes."

Andre turned around again and Chain was drying off his legs. The hand towel and his hand were on his balls when Andre said, "I talked to Romano and he agreed to play my grandparent's favorite songs for that night."

"Good. It's been weeks since I last saw Romano."

"Jesse will also be there," Andre said. "I hired him as the DJ for the party. I have a lot to tell you later."

"Bleh on Jesse," Chain said. "I'll re-heat the dinner in a bit. I'll just need to use the bathroom and smoke outside in a bit."

Andre folded his clothes neatly and placed them all on the side table near the sofa. He opened the refrigerator and grabbed another glass of water and sat in front of the TV. 

Chain went inside the bathroom. He couldn't help it anymore. He just had to masturbate.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

XI - Jesse

It's been almost a month since the Rhythm Management incident, Jesse thought. Andre's been calling it the Rhythm Management incident, I also began calling it the Rhythm Management incident. But it looked like everyone's moved on. Andre's okay now. Well, my car's been repaired. My father, even though I only met him twice again after the incident, didn't want to kill me anymore.

Jesse received a weird text from his father inviting him to a dinner on that coming Sunday night. Of course, after all that had happened, he had no choice but to reply yes he will come.

It was that Sunday night. The first Sunday of December. It was difficult to park in a crowded mall such as the La Fayette Terraces. On his way to the restaurant his father instructed, he felt the obnoxious Christmas spirit in the mall. The jingles blasted over and over, the decorations, the Santa hat worn by its employees. It all annoyed him.

Jesse went to an upscale Italian restaurant and saw his father seated beside a beautiful middle-aged woman and Andre in front of them.

Andre? Jesse thought.

"As always," Jesse's father said as he approached them. "You're late!"

Jesse didn't respond as he sat beside Andre. He was only five minutes late, pretty much on time by his standard.

"We already ordered," Jesse's father said.

"Okay," was the only thing he could say.

Andre smiled as they looked at each other. He was in a navy blue polo shirt. Jesse wore a dark blue version of the same brand. He wanted to dressed "decently" to avoid hearing his father complain. This was the first time he met Andre in person after the Rhythm Management incident. But they did keep in touch regularly through calls.

Jesse was sure that the woman seated beside his father was Andre's mother. She fits the description he remembered Andre told him when they were in high school -- beautiful and of Mestiza descent. She didn't come from a family Andre's grandparent's wanted but she was a successful businesswoman in her own right. She and Andre meet at least once a month.

Jesse's father was a silver-haired, fat and hairy American expat for a well known multinational company in the Philippines. He married a Filipina they dubbed "exotic" behind their backs.

Jesse grew up teased about his ugly American father and "maid-looking" mother to the point he was rarely seen in public with them. He sometimes couldn't believe that a good looking guy like him was a product of two ugly people. Then again, they were his parents and warts and all they were family.

Jesse's mother was with a new man -- a 65-year-old German and he couldn't be any happier that she left him alone. It had been years since they last talked.

"Now that we're all here," Jesse's father said. "We wanted you to know that Grace and I are engaged."

Jesse's father and Andre's mother held hands and smiled at them.

Middle-aged love birds, Jesse thought. If Andre's mom's well off, what did she see in my father? She probably got tired of good looking men.

Before he or Andre could say anything, the food arrived. They ate quietly and with polite dinner conversations: Andre with his San Lorenzo schooling and internship at the Office of the Ombudsman; Jesse would also graduate on the same month as Andre at Xavier; he was done with all of his classes and for the internship, it's already with Rhythm Management; he was just passing time now until he graduates.

"I'm just glad nothing serious happened to you my boy," Jesse's father said looking at Andre. "You'll be brothers soon but you made the right decision of steering clear of Jesse. He's nothing but trouble."

Jesse could only say, "Really..." and continued eating.

Andre nodded.

And so the banter begins, Jesse thought.

To Jesse's surprise, it was a brief dinner. After dessert, their parents seemed in a rush to get rid of them.

Jesse and Andre walked at the mall's basement parking lot and stopped at Jesse's car.

Jesse lit a cigarette and said, "It's still early, you should hang out with me and Dice."

Andre said, "Okay, bro..." he began to laugh.

"Us being brothers? It's not a big deal," Jesse laughed. "Besides, I'll be in the wrong side of your family. Do you have an aunt from your father's side? My dad should marry her."

"Most of my father's cousins are now in Canada or New Zealand."

"Oh well, I invited Janine to come over. Do you still remember her?"

Andre shook his head.

"The Mestiza red head girl in Rhythm Management with Lala..." Jesse continued. "Does it ring a bell now?"


"She's been bugging Lala to meet you again. I know it matters little but do you have a girl in San Lorenzo?"

Andre shook his head again.

"Good," Jesse's phone buzzed and he looked at it. "Janine just texted. She's with Dice already. You're coming with me."

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

X - Andre

It felt like a dream, Andre thought. But it did happen and I was a willing victim.

After napping for half an hour, Andre put on his white shirt and stepped out of his bedroom. Chain was in front of the TV watching an HBO feature. He looked at him and smiled, he smiled back. He let Chain watched the movie to grab a couple of cups of coffee from the kitchen downstairs. He came back to his room and invited Chain to smoke at his room's veranda. 

They both looked at the posh village's surroundings. Chain quickly finished his coffee and began smoking. Andre took his time with his cup.

Chain placed his hand on top of his crotch and cupped it. Andre remained and placed his hand on top of Chain's left shoulder. He wanted to hug him but they both knew they'd be seen. And they both don't want that. It was the best discreet position.

"Here goes nothing," Chain said.

He looked nervous, Andre thought, but then again he already has his hand on my balls, everything.

"You're still nervous?" Andre said with a chuckle.

Chain's voice trailed off and he just smiled.

Andre placed his hand on top of Chain's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. He said, "We'll talk about this later or sometime. We have work to do it in a bit, okay?"

Chain nodded.

I have this under control, Andre thought.


It was almost midnight when they got in his father's room. There was nothing special about it but every step he made inside almost made him want to faint. It pretty much looked like his room minus the TV and other electric devices.

"So this room's been like a time-capsule since 1989," Chain said as he glanced around the room.

"In a way, yes," Andre said. "My grandparents have it cleaned regularly and they haven't changed anything since he died. For some of my father's clothes, they have it regularly washed and folded..."

"As if he's going to use them again..." Chain continued what he was about to say. 

The first thing they went through was his study. There were a wooden desk and a couple of bookshelves.

"Gee, your father did look like you when he was almost your age." Chain said looking at Andre's father's portrait in the middle of the room.

"But of course," Andre said.

"What I notice though, is the absence of anything about your mother in this room and in your home in general."

"You know the story Chain," Andre said as he started looking at the books from the shelves.

"I know, of all the girls your father could've had, he chose your mother," he chuckled. "That's a classic soap opera."

Chain was about to step of the study when he said, "I'll take a look at his bedroom, I might find something there."

Andre sat behind his father's desk and opened the top drawer. He saw a couple of clean ashtrays.

He smoked? Andre thought. Or he might have had some friends who did. Lolo and Lola had never told me. Then again, I didn't ask.

At the top of his father's desk he saw a photo of the three-year-old him sitting on his father's shoulder. They both smiled but Andre admitted to himself he no longer remembered the moment. He can't believe that it took him so long to go to his father's room.

Chain entered the study and said, “I think I found something.”

In Chain's hand looked like a small leather notebook dated some time in the late 70's or early 80’s.

Chain sat in front of him and placed the journal on the table. Andre began browsing the pages, everything was written in cursive and blank ink.

In its first few pages, his father's entries were: 

There’s one more thing I want you to remember. There are compensations in life. There always are, or we wouldn’t go on living. You don’t feel well, now; neither do I. But something will happen to fix that. Do you believe that?

A story of love by Ray Bradbury

P.S. Of course a new car and girlfriend won’t make up for it. I still feel like hell. But I believe there are compensations that for each thing taken away, something else will come.

"Thanks Chain," Andre said.

"So a new girlfriend huh," Chain said.

"Weird," Andre said as he closed his father's journal.

“What's weird about that?” Chain said. "Your father was a good-looking guy. It's normal for him to have tons of girlfriends."

“Everyone tells me that my mother was his only girlfriend.”

“What about a girl he met in Paris? I remember you telling me about it when he went for a trip in Europe or something.”

“My father dated several women but he only had one girlfriend.”

“Maybe that was his term then. He was in a period of time when he didn’t make any distinction between the women he dated and the women he took seriously.”

“I guess so.”

"All this time, why go to his room now?"

"I don't know, probably because it's his birthday."

"I honestly don't know what to say. Happy birthday to your father I guess."

Andre smiled and said, "My grandparents do this every year. They go somewhere, separately and will come a week after like everything's back to normal..."

"Separately?" Chain said.

Andre nodded.

"Let's just leave it as that," Chain continued. "Are you sure you want to read his journal?"

Andre nodded.

"God speed then," Chain said with a chuckle. "I just have to say this, but I'm sleepy now."

"I know, I'll read this later. A few pages at a time preferably."

They came back to his room, Andre said. "You're not sleeping on the couch tonight."

"Okay," Chain said.

As Andre sat on his bed, Chain took all of his clothes off one by one until he was naked again in front of him. They didn't say a word to each other as it happened. Chain didn't do anything else but he did sleep atop of him with his head on his chest.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Guarded Optimism

2012 for me was downright depressing. 

2013 in its first half was good then all the drama happened on the latter half.
If there's one good thing that came out of it, at least now, I live on my own.
I'm independent!
De-glamorized but independent.
One of these days I'll be writing everything I've learned so far.
I wish I did it earlier though.

For 2014, it seems like the stars are aligning (that's how I also felt in the first half of 2013) for me but I think/hope I know better.

Now I'm optimistic about things, but still guarded for I know that one wrong move and everything will be fucked up.

So I'm trying to be as careful about things and low profile.

It's not fun walking on eggshells.

The news that I've been waiting for since November last year is still... pending.

Patience, patience, all my friends and some trusted colleagues keep on telling me.

For my birthday this coming April, I already booked a flight to Laoag.
It'll be my first time to ride an airplane. And for 2014 I resolve to do a lot of firsts.

By Feb/March, I'm already readying myself to sign up for a school and get "certified."
IT/Tech careers here right now are difficult to land without those oh-so precious certifications from X and Y.
I need one to level up.
I'm investing on my development and this time I mean it. 

Yes, it sounds so different! I'm optimistic about things!
But I'm still crossing my fingers, hoping that nothing gets fucked up on my way there.

Thursday, January 09, 2014

IX - Chain

It was the middle of the week and since both of them no longer had classes, Andre and Chain decided to watch the fourth Harry Potter movie in Andre's room.

Chain had visited Andre's room many times before he was no longer treated like a guest. Andre's room was so big, it was almost like a two-bedroom condominium unit. Andre's home was located in a gated village in the middle of La Fayette. It had 24/7 security, its own sports club and a mini-mall. You don't need to go outside. 

Even though Chain had been a visitor in Andre's home several times, he had only gone through selected parts of it. It looked like those typical mansions you'd see in soap operas and most of its rooms were off-limits. And yes, they had uniformed maids.

Chain would always meet Andre's nanny every time  he visited. Mommy Jovy -- Andre dotingly called her. She dressed like a supervisor, standing out among their household staff. Mommy Jovy was in her mid-sixties and had been his father's nanny as well. She talked about Andre's father as if he was her son. They would always meet in their main dining room and Mommy Jovy would always prepare Andre's favorite snack -- corned beef and pandesal.

Andre once told Chain that they offered Mommy Jovy a generous retirement package. She refused. Her children were already settled and they have a decent living in the province. If she goes there, all she will do is to sit and that would be the end of her. Mommy Jovy would always say that she wants to see Andre's son someday and hopefully to take care of him as well.

And then they were alone in his room. Chain already brought some clothes with him because he knew he was going to stay overnight. He only took off his shoes and put on some slippers. He sat on the sofa and watched Andre take everything off in front of him except for his underwear. Chain tried his best to act normal.

Andre bulked up, Chain thought. He was lean and a bit muscular first time he saw him. But as the number of classes they had to attend to decreased, he had more time to go to the gym and play tennis.

"I have a favor to ask you later," Andre said in his underwear.

And he talked! Chain thought. "Huh?"

"I'll be taking a look at some of my dad's stuff later," Andre said as he put on basketball shorts.

I've never seen Andre played basketball ever. But I do hear him mention NBA at times and how he wanted me to watch the games as well. As if. But he does have tennis and gym buddies, he can talk to them about those stuff. Like I care.

"Okay," Chain said.

Andre put on a white t-shirt. He was always in a white t-shirt every time he's home. Then again, every wall and every stuff in their home is white. 

Chain turned on the TV and Andre sat down beside him and put his arm across his shoulder. He has hairy arms, Chain thought. But that's just normal with Caucasian features. Chain placed his elbow on top of Andre's crotch and he could feel it was starting to harden. His was also starting to harden as well.

Chain placed the TV on National Geographic channel featuring a documentary about World War II warships. That's just right, Chain thought, we always passed time watching dorky stuff. We'll watch that Harry Potter movie later.

"What time is it?" Andre said as he stood up and placed a white footstool in front of the sofa. He laid down beside him, placed his naked foot on the stool and wrapped his left arm around Chain's lower back. 

"Almost five in the afternoon," Chain said. "You have something to watch this hour?"

"Not really," Andre said. "Please help me check for my father's stuff later. I mean like when Mommy Jovy's asleep."

"Oh, you really are gonna break a rule. This doesn't sound like you."

"I mean it's time and I've been trying to see what's in that room. My grandparents are away for the week and I don't want to do this alone."


Time passed by and Chain was itching to place his elbow back on top of Andre's crotch. In his new position, his elbow only reaches his belly normally. Damn that footstool! Chain thought. Maybe I should level up and put my hand on it instead? How would Andre react?

Chain was nervous at the thought. He stood up to get a glass of water and then to smoke at his room's  veranda. Andre never smoked but since high school he had guests who do. He always had ashtrays there.

Well, this is all or nothing, Chain thought as he walked back to the sofa. He sat beside him and raised his elbow on top of Andre's chest. His hand cupped Andre's crotch that began to harden. At least no violent reaction. 

It was only five minutes but it felt like forever. Andre placed his hand on top of his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. He said, "Dinner time, Mommy Jovy texted me."

And they both stood up from the sofa and left his room.


After a hearty dinner and chat with Mommy Jovy, Andre and Chain went back to his room. Andre accompanied Chain as he smoked in his veranda.

"I know you have a nice TV in your bedroom," Chain said. "Let's watch the movie there."

"Okay," Andre said with his hand on his waist watching their beautiful garden at night.

Chain was nervous again with what he had in mind. I might never have the chance to do this with a really hot guy, again, he thought. What the hell! All or nothing. He kept on thinking. All or nothing. Chain went nearer to Andre as he smoked. He cupped his right hand again on his crotch.

"I'll be starting my internship in the Office of the Ombudsman by Monday," Andre said.

What he said felt like a whisper and it was damn sexy! Chain thought. Andre just kept on talking about how his grandpa got him the job and how he knew most of the officers there. Chain  pretended to listen. He didn't care what he said as long as he could smoke with Andre's body against him. It took him four sticks to prolong the so-called conversation. 

"You smell bad when you reek of cigarette," Andre said as they entered his bedroom, again white everything except for the TV.  

"Well, you don't seem to mind," Chain said as he sat on Andre's bed. "I don't want to watch the movie."

"Huh?" Andre said.

"I'll leave the DVD later so you can watch it on your own." 

"What do you have in mind then?"

"I'll make you my guinea pig. I've been trying to learn how to massage and someone's been teaching me. I'm going to practice it on you."

"Are you even qualified?"

"Yes!" Chain smiled as he stood up and gently pushed Andre towards the bed. He took off Andre's shirt and placed him on prone position.

Chain grabbed the alcohol from one of his cabinet and rubbed his hands with it. He turned off the air conditioner and left the electric fan at minimum.

Chain massaged Andre's back and shoulders. He lied when he said someone was teaching him. It was only his second time.

Chain clearly remembered his first -- Romano. It was almost three years ago and Romano was short of funds for something. Chain didn't care what it was for but he did have the money and Romano agreed with it anyway.

Chain got Romano drunk first and brought him in his room. He massaged him the way he was massaging Andre. Then he pulled his shorts and underwear off. Andre napped and didn't react. Romano, as he remembered, looked back at him but didn't say a word.

Chain did the same thing. He distanced their legs a bit and pulled their butt cheeks apart gently for him to take a peek at their butt holes. Who was hairier? Andre.

Chain massaged the legs down to his feet. Then he asked him to turn over. Andre grabbed a pillow and covered his face. Not sure why but as long as he's not protesting, I don't care, Chain thought. Romano, he was a bit drunk, but he knew what was happening. He looked where my hand was and what I did the whole time but he remained passive the whole time.

Chain gave himself a minute to look at Andre's naked body. He knelt at the space between his legs and remembered the same thing he did on Romano.

Andre's penis was pinkish and half-erected. He had trimmed pubes. Unlike Romano, his was dark brownish and asleep. Maybe he was drunk etc. His pubes looked like a small black bush.  

Chain massaged Andre's leg and feet first. He wanted to save the chest for later, then his tummy and then his cock. Chain took his time rubbing his hands against Andre's chest. His was a bit more hairy than Romano's. Romano had beer belly for whenever he was he was free, he drank. But through physical labor or through sheer genetic luck, he was still a good looking guy. Andre, on the other hand, was disciplined. He rarely drank and often played sports and at the gym. Chain enjoyed massaging Andre's sculpted abdomen. It wasn't a full six or eight pack yet but it was close enough.

It took Chain a few more attempts at fondling before Romano's penis to be semi-erected for him to suck. Romano looked at him and said, "Do what you've got to do." Andre still had the pillow on his face but his was already half-erected. Chain cupped his pinkish balls with his hand and immediately sucked his dick.

All throughout, Romano was passive and Chain got tired of sucking his dick. Romano masturbated and when he was almost about to cum he let Chain grab his penis and suck it until his face was covered by his semen.

Andre was different. As Chain sucked his Dick, he placed his hand on top of his head. Andre was even the one moving his hip and all Chain  needed to do was to keep his mouth open. With no warning, Andre cummed in his mouth. The load was more than he could bear, he had to spit it out on the floor.

The same thing he did with Romano, Chain grabbed his handkerchief and wiped the mess off his face and their dicks and legs.

Andre still had the pillow on his face and napped. Chain put on his underwear and shorts back and after a glass of water, went back to the veranda for another smoke.

After this, there's no coming back, he thought. Then again, I should've done this earlier.

When he was done with Romano, they actually went out of his house and smoked in front of their junk shop. With the money already in his pocket, Romano said, "I'm already paid, you know that."

Chain nodded. After the incident, they both acted like nothing happened. Until Romano had signed up with a recording company, he still had issues with money. But he didn't borrow from Chain again.

Friday, January 03, 2014


"There’s one more thing I want you to remember. There are compensations in life. There always are, or we wouldn’t go on living. You don’t feel well, now; neither do I. But something will happen to fix that. Do you believe that?" -- A story of love by Ray Bradbury

**** My reply: I want to. I hope so.

Friday, December 27, 2013

VIII - Andre

"Mocha Frappuccino, grande," Chain said with a tinge of bitter smile. "I'm so predictable."

Andre smiled. It's been more than a week since they last saw each other but it felt like months. And the place they agreed to meet to was of course the Starbucks they frequented.

Chain was in a red t-shirt with the iconic Che Guevarra's picture on it, jeans and sneakers. Every dress down day at school, he'd wear t-shirts with pictures of famous communists and dictators. He knew wasn't an activist nor a communist. It wasn't exactly political nor passion. He wore those kind of t-shirts because it was a normal thing to wear for a rocker.

Andre wore a pale blue La Coste polo shirt, khaki pants and a pair of white tennis shoes.

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon. The smoking area was crowded. Even though he didn't smoke and hated its smell when it sticks to his clothes, he didn't have a choice. Chain smoked and he was ok with it anyway.

"I almost forgot to thank you for the free coffee," Chain said as he lit a cigarette. 

"I always pay for your coffee," Andre said.

"I know! But I always say thank you. To make things fair, you pay for the coffee, I pay for the movie."

"But the coffee comes with sandwiches and then movie time, pop corn, hotdogs and drinks, I still pay for it. You eat a lot, you know that?"

"Where's this coming from?" Chain said as he crossed his arms with the cigarette at the tip of his mouth. "We've always had this set up. If you're not happy with it, fine."

Chain stood up from his chair.

"Sit down," Andre said. "I was just messing with you."

"I know and I just wanted to see if you're going to stop me from leaving," Chain said as he sat down and killed off his cigarette.

Andre smiled again.

"Ah, that toothpaste commercial smile Andre," Chain said. "I can only imagine you charming your future clients with it."

"I remember you mentioning my father had that toothpaste commercial smile too."

"Yes! I googled his name and someone scanned an old campaign poster of him with his signature toothpaste commercial smile."

It was known that after a decade of being a corporate lawyer, his father ran for a congressional seat in their district and won. To say that local elections are chaotic is an understatement and his father's enemies had had several attempts on his life. He was in the middle of his tenure though when he died from a car accident.

"I'm sorry," Chain said. "I might've brought up bad memories."

"Memories? No," Andre said. "I barely remembered him. But thoughts, yes. And I almost died from a car accident."

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to go to the hospital with you. We both know that Jesse hit my family's truck and I had to call my mother..."

"You don't have to explain and your presence might've aggravated my grandparents more. You should've seen what happened to Jesse."

"He's a jerk," Chain said. "I can't believe you were friends with him."

"You two started off on the wrong foot, next time you meet, you might become friends too."

"Nah, one good-looking high-maintenance friend is enough."

"I'm not that good-looking. High-maintenance? Are you kidding me?"

"Number one, I put up with a lot of your BS. Number two, you're not exactly Mr. Congeniality."

"Then you're lucky to have a friend like me."


"Because most of the time, I pay for your shit."

Chain laughed so loud even the people from the other tables started looking at them. They paused for a few moments and Chain grabbed another cigarette to smoke. Everyone went on with their business.

"Where were we?" Chain said.

"Good-looking, high-maintenance friends," Andre said as he took the last few sip of his coffee.

"What time is it?"

Andre looked at his Patek Philippe watch and answered, "Almost seven in the evening."

"Good, we still have time, our movie starts at 8:20 PM."

"What movie are we going to watch?"

"Walk The Line -- we might like it. I know your grandpa's a Johnny Cash fan."

"Yes, I thought we're going to see Harry Potter."

"I watched the fourth Harry Potter movie last week alone while you were still in the hospital."

"Oh well."

"I already have a clear copy DVD, we can watch it some time. That is when I'm in the clear to visit your house again."

"Don't worry, in regard to the accident, all the attention was on Jesse. You did what I asked you to do and we should be okay."



It was five minutes before the movie started. After a quick trip in the wash room, Chain would always decide where they sit. He after all had poor eyesight and continued to refuse to wear eyeglasses. They were always in the middle row, center column, regardless. It was the reason he would buy tickets in advance especially when he knew it was going to be a blockbuster. 

Twenty minutes into the movie and they were done with their food. As Chain drank quietly, Andre would always feel Chain's elbow on top of his crotch. It would always last until the end of the movie. Even if he goes on a bathroom break and came back, Chain would always place it there. He would do it every time they were seated beside each other when no one seemed to notice.

At first it felt a bit awkward but he didn't mind. But as time moved on, he expected it and if there was enough space he would even put his arm across Chain's shoulder. 

Tuesday, December 24, 2013


I know it's the "holiday" season but I'm still waiting. And with that I'm in this state of ennui and, for some personal things I'd rather not blog about, I'm also a bit depressed. 

I was told that at least I'm over the 2-week reject period. Yes, I remember all the reject letters I received and it all came around 2 weeks. That gave me small comfort. But still. 

This is something I have no control whatsoever. And so I wait more and hope for the "good news." 

It sucks to be me right now but still Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! :)

Thursday, December 05, 2013


I'm waiting for the result of something I did almost 3 weeks ago, specifically, I don't want to blog about it just yet.  But waiting sucks. Big time.

It makes you feel helpless, anxious and a whole lot of emotions I couldn't explain.

If it's a no go. I'll cry but at least I know I did my best but didn't make it. Time to make some other plans.

If it's a go, then great!

Now? I'm in a standstill and I'm thinking about it every freaking day. It's distracting. 

Over thinking about it and whole other things has been a bane to me lately.

I can't even follow it up because as per the advise of my friends it might do more harm than good. 

And so I wait. I wait effing more. I hate this feeling.